My blog posting drought has finally come to an end. This drought was not caused by unnatural means but by natural ones: work related travel, Christmas in another state (with limited access the internet), weeks of sickness and more work related traveling. The desire was there but the flesh was weak. I have a list of topic on which I want to pontificate on and none are coming to the light of day as of yet except for one which has been running around in my mind and heart since before the holidays. So without further adiue, my posting for your educational, mental, and spiritual enjoyment.
Back in December, I was in Houston in a hotel on work related business. I was up at 4am this particular morning. Not because I particularly wanted to be up at that hour, but my alarm had gone off and it was time to rise. I had to be at work by 6am and had been doing my best to get in some quiet time before the everydayness settled in. I usually try to spend 45 min to an hour a day in devotion with the Daily Office from the Book of Common Prayer. My structure and guidance and devotion for the day. Prayer and scripture to set me on the right path. I turned my computer on and struggled to wipe the sleepiness from my eyes and the fogginess from my brain.
"Too soon to start devotions just yet..... I can't focus...... I need to wake up a bit......maybe perusing Facebook will be the ticket to a greater state of wakefulness."
The computer whirled and beeped and up popped my homepage on Facebook.
At the top of my page, I clicked on the Home tab, which for all of you non-Facebookers, lets me see all of the current updates posted by my other Facebook friends.
The first one I saw was from an old college friend with whom I had just recently reconnected with via Facebook. Rob Duncan was his name. He had married a gal, Karen Garman, who I had been friends with at college. Now they are Mr. and Mrs. Rob and Karen Duncan. I had neither seen nor heard from either one in over 20 years. Until that day.
On his Facebook page, Rob had posted the following: Rob is missing Daniel very badly today.
"Who was Daniel and why should Rob be missing him badIy?" I thought to myself. I knew lots of Daniels. It is not an uncommon name. My pastor's name is Daniel, I had recently been reading about the Daniel in the Bible, I have friends who lives in Rome, Georgia and in Los Angeles whose sons are named Daniel. What made this Daniel so special?
Like a semi-pro Facebooker, I took it upon myself to find out who this Daniel was.
Was he a friend? Was he a colleague? Was he a son? Why was he missed? Was he on a trip? Was he away at school or a friends house? Too many questions and not enough answers in Rob's short posting. Sensing more behind the short little statement, I clicked my mouse.
That one click affected me profoundly.
Not satisfied with the small amount of info on Rob's Facebook page concerning this mysterious "Daniel", I eventually located a link at the bottom of Rob's Info page, in the Groups I Belong to section.
RIP Daniel Duncan.
I clicked again. My journey began.
Initially, it was a pictorial journey with 60 or so photos, pictures of a life, full and varied, interesting and with great promise, full of laughter and joy. Daniel playing the piano, Daniel acting in a play, Daniel at school, Daniel with his friends, Daniel with his family, Daniel full of smiles and jokes. Daniel riding his bike.
By the end of the slide show, I felt like I had a better picture of who Daniel was even though I had never met him. It is amazing what pictures can convey about a person. He was the son of Rob and Karen and seem to be living the typical American teenager lifestyle. He was their oldest and the torchbearer of the Duncan name. He seemed well adjusted and well loved, a fun-loving intelligent kid. Great. But my question was still unanswered.
Why did it say "Rob is missing Daniel very badly today?"
As I continued my search for the answer, I eventually ran across this:
Daniel was hit by a car when riding his bike. They say that it happened instantly and if there's any blessing at all, that would be it. I pray that he didn't suffer at all. I love you Daniel.
A cold chill ran down my spine as the enormity of what had recently taken place began to sink in.
Rob is missing Daniel very badly today.
The 7 words written on the screen of my Facebook page hit me like a moving car, because once, long ago, I was hit by a truck and it changed the course of my life.
Rob was missing Daniel very badly today, because he would never see him again in this lifetime, here on this green earth. His son was gone.
My thoughts instantly ran to my children. Were they OK? Would I see them again? What would I say on my Facebook page if one of my girls were taken from me without the opportunity of saying goodbye?
My daily devotional time had taken a very different turn.
I continued my journey as I searched for more information about Daniel. He had now become much more that just a one-dimensional face on a digital picture. He was now flesh and bone, laughter and joy. There was a growing sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach because I too, am a dad. The bond between a parent and their children is very powerful, strengthened by faith, discipline, hugs and conversation. Lots of conversation.
I suddenly felt a tremendous kinship with Rob and Karen, those who I had not spoken to or thought much about over the last 20 years. My heart went out to them, felt just a tad of their pain and loss and I didn't know what to do about it.
Link after picture after posting after eulogy gave me fuller sense of the young man, Daniel. He was so full of promise, loved by everyone who met him. touching in tangible and intangible ways all who crossed his path. He was in drama, could play the piano like Van Cliburn, rode his bike all over creation, played with his siblings. He was the one everyone wanted to be like. Everything you'd expect from one so recently graduated from high school and into the first weeks of college.
But the greatest thing that seemed to be said about him was that he loved and served God.
As I read and read, I found my self laughing with joy and weeping with a profound sense of untimely loss.
All over a teenager I never met.
He was struck and killed by a car while he was riding the bike he so loved. He was only into the 2nd or 3rd week of college. He barely had time to unpack and get settled into the routine of higher education. He had received a music scholarship and was beginning his journey as a man.
I clicked on a link that lead me to his personal website. The second posting has this heading:
Let my lifesong sing for You.
My throat constricted, I felt my chest tighten and tears clouded my vision, for that song has personal and deep meaning for me. For a while in my life, I had left the Path of God and that particular song, "Lifesong" by Casting Crowns, was a turning point for me in my journey back to God. It has become my personal anthem. It was even the ringtone on my cell phone. And to see it on a now-dead young man's blogsite shook me to the core. Our whole life should be as an instrument on which our lifesong is played out to the Lord. And from all accounts, Daniel let his Lifesong sing unto his God and the world.
This was apparently the last text message that he sent a few hours before his earthly departure:
LOVE YA One morning you will never wake up Do all your friends know you love them? I was thinking...I could die today, tomorrow or next week, And I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, Friendships that needed rekindling, or three words needing to be said. Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think They don't love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do. And just in case GOD calls me home before I see you again...... I LOVE YA!!! Send this to at least 8 people you love and send it Back to the person Who sent it to you.Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised!
I think of Daniel as a shooting star - brilliant in its path across the heavens, rocketing there in the clear sky, affecting its surroundings with its brilliance, then disappearing forever before we have had a chance to truly enjoy it. We will never see it again, but we will never forget it.
People still talk about Haley's Comet although none are alive who have ever seen it. I believe Daniel will have that same lasting impression on all who gazed upon him, however fleetingly. Thought the ground is still fresh, I believe that Daniel's death will not have been in vain. The Bible says that unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies..... Daniel's, "Falling Asleep", as the Orthodox like to say, has and will continue to bear much and lasting fruit.
He will not be forgotten, at least not by me, because I will forever be marked by my crossing with Daniel.
One's life rarely gets the scrutiny in life that it does in death. Shouldn't our retrospectives be ongoing and not retroactive? I once had a pastor friend who died in an auto accident. He pastored a little tiny church up in the mountains above L.A. 2000 people showed up at his funeral. I was astonished at how many people were touched by this man, my friend. I didn't know.
Rob said that the same happened at Daniel's funeral. In such a short life, he touched the multitudes. What an example he set for all to see. I can only hope that the same will be said of me at my passing.
I found myself profoundly moved in the depths of my soul. For days afterward, I thought long and hard about Daniel and about how to put my thoughts into words. Even at the end of this piece, the words still seem unable to do justice to the way I feel inside. Though this happened to me at the end of last year, I still found myself fighting tears and intense feelings even as I wrote this.
And all because I clicked on a link in Facebook at 4 am. in an attempt to wake up. That day, an alarm was set to remind me of a meeting, in the future, that I will have with a special young man.
RIP Daniel Duncan 'till we meet one day on the other shore. I look forward to getting to know you a little better.
Traveler
The following are some of the links to get to know Daniel a little bit better.
http://piano-boy.blogspot.com/
http://lilies-of-the-field.blogspot.com/
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=24031074379
